Friday, April 23, 2010

Purpose

Many of our clients are unclear about what their goals in life should be. It can be very difficult to live one's life with joy when you are not sure where you should be headed. It is a rare person in these times who knows what their calling is. It used to be clear that children often followed in the footsteps of their parents. If their father was a pharmacist, then they would go into pharmacy. With the fragmentation of the family unit, that is no longer common. It may even be better that way.

As life coaches we try to explore with our clients what their vocation is. We never impose what we think on anyone because we feel strongly that each person must come to what their life "purpose" is in their own way and in their own time. What we do try to do is to eliminate certain "sticking points" that hold up their progress. We know that the earlier one comes to know what his calling is, the higher the likelihood that the individual will successfully answer the call.

Each of us has been put on this earth to make a difference for the better in other peoples' lives. At the Duffy Achievement Group, we believe that happiness and satisfaction are obtained when we fulfill that purpose. Everyone succeeds when our clients succeed.

Keep searching for your purpose in life.

Duffy Achievement Group

Monday, April 5, 2010

Life Coaching and Technology

Technology is a great thing, especially the new social media life- Facebook and Twitter. They allow you to keep in touch with people all over the world and permit you to share photos and ideas. The nice thing is that you can communicate when you have the time and when you want.

From our perspective as Life Coaches, the use of the telephone, fax machine, and email is a great plus for our clients. Clients experience the benefit of coaching from wherever they are and do not have to schedule out large blocks of time for travel. It is convenient and, because of the feeling of relative anonymity, clients tend to open up quickly and develop trust which are very important for the process to work. Clients like to have life coaches because the process is so different from psychotherapy. Most people who have a therapist will keep that fact confidential. On the other hand, most clients with life coaches tend to boast that they have this advantage. Although Life Coaching does not substitute for therapy, it does provide an unbiased, sympathetic sounding board that everyone needs in their life.

That being said, technology is a double edged sword that cuts both ways. It can be isolating and a time-sink that sucks up the individual into endless discussions, searches, and safaris into dangerous and perverted places. The sun may be shining outside but the computer can develop a strangle hold on its prey.

The same pseudo-anonymity that helps us coach people to LIVE, allows some people to say unkind things that they would never dream of saying face-to-face. It gives a sense of power and license that can destroy relationships and reputations. The facial and vocal cues of humor cannot be well conveyed through the written word or the embarrassing photograph unless the individual is an exceptional writer and comedian. Most of us do not have this type of talent.

Technology can make us more efficient but to do what? One can literally tweet for hours or escape to another electronic device- TV, video games, or back to the empty virtual corridors of the Internet where anything is available if the price is right.

One can develop a false sense of security and the ability to take on a new persona that can allow us to neglect the ones who love us, the goals we have, and to become an alter ego on impulse alone. The TV show "Dateline: To Catch a Predator," drives this home like a punch in the midsection. On it, men buy into a virtual fantasy world that is depraved and indifferent to their potential victims. Once caught, they are stunned by their own stupidity.

We all have forbidden impulses but keep them in check by staying anchored in what is good, non-selfish, and holy. We are able to accomplish when we avoid our weak, dark sides and stay in the sunshine, listening to our better angels.

Technology is great when it helps you succeed for your own good and the good of others. Otherwise, it is a dark tango with your bad impulses that first isolates and then perverts. Use it wisely. Shut off you computer and go for a walk. The sun is shining.